The sun is beginning to dip into the horizon, and the end-of-the-day breeze brushes to her pale cheeks. The puff gives her tousled hair a messier look. It’s a bit colder up here from where she stands. As the early evening comes and the feeling of the day drawing out begins, her already tangled mind wanders even farther–so far that she hardly manages to keep it on the perimeter of her thoughts.
Quickly, time passes by, until all she can see are the glimmering lights that envelop the nearby city. Speech is beyond her. She’s glad she’s not with anyone. The idea of having a companion compels her to say something. She made the right decision of going here alone. She needs this–the quietness and all the present moment humbly offers. She knows that sooner or later, she’ll need enough time to face the new reality. The act of turning the next page which will bring her to the next chapter of her so-called life is fastly approaching, undeniably…inexorably. It’s battling for space in her head, telling her to make herself ready to the unknown. And she has to deal with it, and this is the right time to do so. She has to start somewhere, and that somewhere is here and now.
The feeling of facing the “news” in her life brings all the possible emotions to the surface–happiness, worry, fear, courage, confusion, excitement, homesickness, madness, bliss, hope, love, joy, and the list goes on. Now, she doesn’t know where and how to start; what to expect and not. There are millions of questions playing on her head, but the answers are few at the moment. Sometimes, none at all…none yet. It’s disappointing at certain points when she forgets to remember how her faith should be larger a thousand times than her questions. How frustrating she doesn’t have a gigabyte of memory. During this familiar situation, she perfectly knows the drill as it has been tattooed in every part of her being.
She prayed in whisper–the words hardly escaped her mouth–a long prayer that includes thanksgiving, forgiveness, strength, wisdom, patience, direction and praise.
And as the last word finds its way to conclusion, another evening breeze blows again to her now cold cheeks. After lifting every single thing up high to the One, it positively feels much better this time. Life is reassured. She took one last look around. Below are the lights of the city; above are the tiny holes of the night sky–the stars. What a wonderful sight for a hopeful soul who’s seeking the right way to fulfill the very core of her existence. One last look…she sighed then, turned away.by Keshia L. (An old entry of mine. Written sometime between 2005-2009.)
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