Happy New Year! My greeting is a bit late, as well as my post for January. But better late than never. So, here it is…another book to share to you pips! Have a great year ahead! =)
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When Your Best Isn’t Good Enough by Dr. Kevin Leman. I say this book is a real help for those who have a low self-esteem, and at the same tine, a good guide for parents who are raising their kids and wanting to help build them up to be the person they are.
In this book, Dr. Leman introduced the concept of a defeated perfectionist. He describes it as someone “who thinks that he is not worthy of love and respect unless he does things exceptionally well,” and someone who “often has a difficult time establishing his own relationship with God.” In short, defeated perfectionist suffers from all the wrong feelings of self-doubt, inadequacy, and rejection.
During heartbreaking rejection, a defeated perfectionist tends to blame himself/herself, overgeneralize, put up a wall for fear of being hurt, and look at the situation through the heart instead of through the mind.
Likewise, defeated perfectionists usually tend to set a high-jump bar of life. Here’s how they can lower it so as to save themselves from feeling of failure.
1. Learn that there is a difference between excellence and perfection.
2. See failures as learning experiences upon which to build a better future.
3. Live in the real world.
4. Take a realistic look at yourself.
5. Face up to your fears.
6. Take responsibility for your actions.
7. Exercise cognitive self-discipline. According to Dr. Leman, cognitive discipline is “coming to know your true self…your capabilities and your weaknesses. It’s coming to understand the experiences and relationships with other people which have shaped you….It is coming to know that there have been built into you tendencies to do or say the very things that will keep you trapped in the cycle of failure and rejection.”
At the end, Dr. Leman urges his readers not to worry about: “What might happen tomorrow. What happened years ago. What others think of you. Things you can’t do anything about. Whether you’re going to fail. What everybody else does.”
Well, I’d say we can try stop living a lie, and start living our life. That’s the best we can do for God, for ourselves, and for the people we care the most. Remember, Jesus died for us on the cross; we must be very valuable. Let’s act our worth. =)
(Note: Adapted from the book When Your Best Isn't Good Enough by Dr. Kevin Leman)